Summary: Set sometime after issue #14 of Buffy Season 8 and the season 2 finale of Torchwood. Buffy meets Willow in Cardiff.

Author’s note: I don’t own Buffy or Torchwood, I’m just dabbling. Thanks to Snowturtlegirl for the read through and to Bloodytearsoflife for the beta.

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Buffy sat calmly on the patio of a little café in Cardiff, trying hard not to tap her nails on the table. Yes, Willow said she’d be there, and they’d get to catch up on girl stuff after being apart for months. Whatever it was that Giles had Willow out doing in the wide world, Buffy knew that it was probably best if she didn’t know. She’d long come to the realisation that Giles was in charge guy. She was just the muscle. And for the most part she liked it that way. To say that she didn’t want to have to think after Sunnydale, was an understatement. Not after…

The Slayer shook her head, ordering herself not to go there. She glanced at her cell phone that she’d placed on the café table so that she wouldn’t have to pull it out of her pocket constantly. Buffy looked into her empty coffee cup and debated whether or not she should order another or just leave. She didn’t even know why Willow had wanted to meet in Cardiff of all places. Why couldn’t they meet at home? Scotland had been growing on her. Even Dawn had admitted that she liked their castle.

With a sigh, Buffy flagged down the waitress and ordered another latte. If she made the trip out here, it would really suck to just leave without talking to Willow. The perky pink haired waitress brought her the latte with a sympathetic smile. It completely looked like she’d been stood up. Oh yeah, Buffy thought, this is fan-freaking-tastic.

That was when a man ran past the café with something that looked suspiciously like a head in his hands. Now, this in itself was not an abnormal sight for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She did raise her eyebrows at the fact that this was happening in broad daylight. The people around her didn’t seem to think much of it either. Several of the café’s patrons looked up but didn’t say anything.

Buffy sipped her latte again, just as a group of people ran by, following the man with the head, bumping in to a pedestrian.

“Sorry!” called out the running man, to the guy he’d bumped into.

Buffy couldn’t help but stare as the victim of the encounter got up and brushed himself off. “Bloody Torchwood,” he muttered just loud enough for Buffy to hear. A few of the other patrons chuckled at his words. It was like an inside joke. Cocking her head slightly, Buffy looked at the retreating group of people as they ran.

“Apparently they do that a lot,” came Willow’s voice from behind her. Buffy turned to see her friend holding her own latte in her hand. “Mind if I sit down or are you expecting a hot date?” the witch joked.

“Actually, I was. But I won’t tell her if you don’t,” Buffy laughed.

Willow slid into the vacant seat beside Buffy and smiled. “It’s good to see you. How’s Scotland?”

Buffy nodded. “Good. Dawn is much more manageable when she’s not gigantic. Xander’s moving on.”

“And Satsu?” Willow wiggled her eyebrows.

“Oh god,” Buffy put her forehead in her hand. “Will you just let it go, it was one time.”

“I have it on good authority that should you choose to switch teams…”

“Not switching teams. I like the team I’m on. It’s not my fault that I’m surrounded by women all the time.”

“Well maybe we can change that then,” Willow said cryptically.

“No match making. The last time you dabbled in the match making we had Riley. Look where that led.”

Willow nodded. “No intentional match making. Besides, that’s not why I asked you here.”

“Why, exactly, did you ask me here? Have you been in Cardiff for months?” Buffy asked.

Willow nodded. “Yep, Giles sent me. Found out about Torchwood. He wanted a man on the ground, so to speak. No matter what he says, there is some controlling councilness in him,” Willow explained. “Fingers in pies and whatnot. Completely not his business. But it’s good to have an ally. Even if it is whacky here.”

“Torchwood?” Buffy questioned. “You mean the people that just ran by here with a head?“

“That would be them,“ Willow answered.

_________________________________

“Aliens? Really? That’s something new and slightly different,” Buffy commented on Willow’s recounting of what Torchwood did, as the pair walked the streets of Cardiff.

“They look like demons to me,” Willow said with a shrug. “From what I can find out they come through what Torchwood says is a rift. In Willow speak, that’s a portal. I’m operating on the whole same deal just different vocabulary thing, it makes my life a whole lot easier to handle.”

“And how do they handle you being all witchy?” Buffy asked.

“I don’t think anyone’s told them yet. I haven’t told them. I don’t think they trust me that much at this point. I don’t think it’ll go over well when they find out I work for someone else.”

“Probably not.”

“I’m still on the fringe. All covert-y.”

Buffy nodded. “And you need my help? Is that why you wanted me here?”

“Yep. I wasn’t the one to suggest it though. You’ve dealt with this kind of thing before, and they wanted someone with experience.”

“Wait, hold on, you didn’t suggest me? Why not? And why wouldn’t they consider you to be the experienced one? You’ve dealt with almost everything I have over the years. You are experience gal.”

Willow laughed a bit. “Remember the covert-y thing? I’m not big on the self disclosing at the moment.”

Buffy pouted. “Well I don’t think I like covert Willow. I need disclosure! I’m a full Demi Moore of disclosure.”

The pair of girls halted at a tourist information office down by the water. To Buffy, this didn’t seem like the place many tourists would end up, willingly anyway. The place just screamed vamp attack. You know, if it was night time.

“So right, just remember that you are my best friend from high school. That’s how I know you,“ Willow said urgently.

“I don’t think that’ll be hard to forget, Wills.“

“And I don’t know you are the Slayer.”

“Huh?”

Willow walked up to the door and held it open for Buffy to step through.

Retro, that was the word for it. Complete with a bead curtain behind the desk. Even as Buffy looked around and judged the office, Willow walked up to the counter and rang a bell.

“Willow, what are we doing here?” Buffy whispered.

The witch didn’t have time to respond before a man dressed in a suit came through the beaded curtain. Buffy recognised him instantly. He was the member of Torchwood who’d bumped into that poor pedestrian.

“Hey!” Willow greeted the rather well dressed man.

He is far too dressed up to be working in this dump, Buffy concluded. The pink shirt looked really good on him too. Of course the whole thing was off set by the fact that he was sporting the definition of a furrowed brow.

“This her then?” the man behind the counter asked Willow with a frown on his face.

Buffy was slightly uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, judging. No doubt if Torchwood had been told about the Slayer, they wouldn’t be expecting little old her. No one ever did. She was too short.

“Oh, yeah,” Willow said nervously, “Buffy Summers, Ianto Jones.”

“Hey,” Buffy said simply. “You really need to watch where you are going. That guy you bumped into by the café, he limped to his car.”

“Was in a little bit of a rush,” he said with a scowl.

“No doubt, I would be too, if I was chasing someone who was carrying a Durslar head,” Buffy answered. “Wait, no I wouldn’t.”

“You drink coffee?” Ianto asked, holding his own cup up as if she didn’t understand him.

“Yes, but so not now,” Buffy responded, “anymore and I’ll burst.”

With a bit of a forced smile, Ianto pressed something under the counter and a door opened in the wall, leading down into a cement walled hall.

“Buffy?” Willow asked, forcing the Slayer to turn and follow the red head into the hall.

“I don’t think this Ianto guy likes me,” Buffy noted as they walked. “Love the accent, but he frowned at me.”

“He frowns at everyone. He’s a nice enough guy. He’s…Ianto, I guess,” Willow responded.

“Thanks Wills, that makes me feel loads of better.”

Walking down the hallway and taking an elevator ride brought Buffy and Willow to a round door that looked like a gear. They stepped through and into a large room full of computers. Standing next to a workstation, Buffy recognised spiky hair of an interesting shade. Maybe it was the man’s height or the way he held himself, but even from behind, Buffy knew him.

“Oz!” Buffy laughed, stepping towards him and enveloping him in a hug.

“Whoa, I don’t think I’m quite ready for Buffy hugs,” the werewolf said, backing out of the hug. “Sorry, have a few bruises from the last gig we had. Good to see you though.”

“Gig? With the head?” Buffy asked.

Oz nodded. “I wasn’t quite up to running after Jack afterwards, I had to walk back. Or rather, I took a cab.”

Buffy nodded, even though she didn’t know who this Jack person was. She assumed he was the one who’d run with the head. But assuming makes an ass out of you and me. Buffy giggled to herself for using a Dawn-ism.

“So you work for this Torchwood deal? When did this start?” Buffy asked. “We haven’t seen you for years.”

“I joined, uh, last month,” Oz noted. “Jack recruited me. Seemed to think that I’d make a good addition to the group. Mystery really.”

“’Cause you’re brilliant?” Willow chimed in. “Always have been. Mr. Test Scores.”

“I don’t think that test scores are what they were looking for,” Oz answered his former girlfriend. “But I’m happy to be somewhere where I’m useful.”

“You could have been useful with us,” Buffy whispered.

“Nah, played that scene. Didn’t want to dwell.”

Buffy nodded. “So I take it you were the one who suggested Willow look me up?”

“I think we need someone of your experience for this one,” Oz responded, his eyes catching Buffy‘s.

“Alright, well I’m here, let’s go. Do I get to hurt something?” Buffy rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

“Well, if we try hard, you won’t get to hurt anything,” came another voice. Stepping up from a lower level, a tall, dark, and handsome man in a long coat smiled at her. Buffy couldn’t help the melt-y feeling she had as she looked at him. And damn he smelled good.

“Awww,” she pouted in a flirty kind of way, “But it’s what I do.”

“So I’ve heard,” he said putting out his hand to shake. “Captain Jack Harkness.”

“Buffy Summers,” she responded with a smile, forcing her knees to not fail her. He was drool worthy. “Willow said you needed my help with something?”

“Right,” Jack noted, his hand still holding hers. “I expected someone taller.”

“And I expected someone who was else, someone with an accent.” Buffy answered. “But this is me.” There was something about him…maybe it was the coat, or the hair, or the immortal vibe she was getting from him. Oh yeah, she was in trouble.

Jack laughed a bit, and led her away from the computer screens. “Gwen is securing the head, she’ll be here in a minute. And Ianto...”

“Oh I met him,” Buffy said scowling. “Nice shirt, not much of a conversationalist.”

“That’s Ianto for you,” He led her to a conference room and sat her down.

A dark haired woman entered the conference room and sat down across from Buffy.

“The head is secured. I’m Gwen by the way. You must be Buffy.”

Buffy nodded. She was still trying to comprehend why they would be bringing a Durslar head back to their headquarters. Slowly, Ianto and Oz came into the room.

Jack sat down. “Great now that we are all here and introduced…”

“We aren’t all here,” Buffy interrupted. “Willow’s not here.”

“She’s not…” Oz started searching for the right way to say what he wanted to say.

“She’s not part of Torchwood,” Jack half spat.

“She’s a groupie,” Oz added.

“She wouldn’t be a groupie if the retcon worked on her,” Gwen muttered.

“Retcon?” Buffy asked.

“Amnesia pill,” Jack explained. “She’s the only one it’s never worked on.”

Buffy’s eyes bugged out of her head. They were trying to drug Willow! Her inner rage subsided as she realised that it was Willow herself that was on task about keeping her memories, after all a woman who healed herself from a lobotomy should have no problems with a simple drug in her system. “Even if she’s not part of Torchwood, she went to all the trouble to bring me here, don’t you think she deserves to be part of the whole ’Buffy briefing?”’

The members of Torchwood, including Oz looked at each other a moment before Jack spoke. “She’s a civilian.”

Buffy snorted, but when everyone gave her ’serious’ looks she sighed. She looked to Oz for support but found him avoiding her eyes. He apparently hadn’t told Torchwood everything. She wondered if they even knew he was a werewolf.

“Look, if Willow doesn’t come in here, I’m leaving,” Buffy stated in her best slayer voice.

“She’ll be freaked out. She doesn’t know what we do here,” Oz said seriously, finally catching Buffy’s eyes. His imploring look silenced her protests.

Buffy sat back in her chair. There might have been a good reason why Oz and Willow were keeping up this charade, and she didn’t want to blow it for them, whatever the reason was. It seemed stupid to her, why they would though. Willow was the most powerful witch on the face of the planet. Any organization dealing with demons, err, aliens would be happy to have her working for their team. Not that she wanted Willow to work for anyone but her own team. “Fine,” Buffy said. “Go, explain.”

To say that she was distracted by Jack while he explained the situation and the potential mission was an understatement. Oz fiddled with a pen, while Gwen stared at Jack and Ianto kept glaring in Buffy’s direction.

“So you understand why we might need your help?” Jack asked at the end of his spiel.

With a smile, Buffy looked down at her hands and chuckled a little to herself. “You can take out a Durslar demon, hold his head here and yet you need my help with this?” She looked at Oz in question.

“Dan told us that you’d dealt with this kind of thing before?” Gwen asked.

“Dan?” Buffy asked, looking at Oz. “Well, Dan is right, I have dealt with this kind of thing before. Mass possession, on this scale though…”

“We think it’s more like an infection,” Gwen corrected Buffy.

“You say to-mah-to, I say to-may-to. It’s vocabulary. The trick is to find out how this city’s population is getting this way…uh…how the infection is spread. Biting, in the air, something people eat, touching something, exposure to that rift thing that’s out there…”

“We’ve checked all those,” Oz answered, “That’s why we called you in.”

“So it’s something that science can’t deal with then?” Buffy asked looking at Jack.

Jack nodded.

“Then, I think I‘m going to be here for longer than I expected.”

____________________________________

Claiming the need to get Willow to call her sister for her, Buffy pulled Willow out from the information office and out into the brightly lit outside world. Buffy caught Willow’s eyes and gave her a look. Willow understood, and with a little incantation, she had the two of them silent to the rest of the world.

“You have to tell me why you are ‘just’ a civilian. Do you know how many times I had to force myself not to blow your cover?” Buffy exclaimed.

“Giles’ orders. Plus, it was Oz who got me in. He’s legitimately working for them. I don’t want to jeopardize his position there. They are recruiting. They lost two members of their team and need replacements. Oz was recruited by Jack. Jack asked if Oz knew anyone with special skills like he did and then one day we ran into each other at that café. Oz introduced me. I know about Torchwood, but I don’t know about Torchwood. I think they want to make me the one in the tourist office.”

“But they are drugging you…”

Willow nodded.

“This thing they’ve got going on here, this is right up your alley, I’m thinking it’s a spell gone wrong, or demon pheromones, or something. Willow, you know I’m not the brains of the operation. I need Scoobies.”

“They can be your Scoobies. They are good people, even if they have the aliens/demons things a little off.”

“So says you.”

“Tell me what they told you,” Willow sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Buffy hugged her friend.

“At night, there are these, things. Jack said they look like…well what he described to me was something like a chaos demon and an ubervamp mushed together, but without the redeeming features…”

“A slimy, horny ubervamp? Ick,” Willow interjected.

“Anyway, at night they come out and terrorise the population. But then when the sun comes up, they turn back into people and go about their daily lives.”

“Weird.”

“Except there are more of them every night, so Jack says. If they don’t stop this soon, the whole city will be infected with this thing. This is definitely a Scooby thing.”

Willow nodded.

“This is a very big, research-y Willow thing,” Buffy continued.

“We need to find out what kind of demon this is,” Willow said, reverting into research mode.

“So we can blow your cover?” Buffy said hopefully.

“No,” Willow argued. “But I think I’ll use Willow phone from now on.”

“Ugh, really do you have to be in my head?”

“What could go wrong?’

__________________________________________

Buffy strolled back into Torchwood and demanded all the info they had on their monster. With much distain, Gwen handed her a photo of the thing in question. Buffy thought that maybe she’d made another person take a certain dislike to her. The demon didn’t look familiar, but it did really look like it could have been a ubervamp and a chaos demon’s love child. It was beyond really.

*Ugh,* said the Willow voice in her head.

Willow, she knew was up in the information booth, twiddling her thumbs. Ianto had told her to wait there. Rather rude of him, Buffy thought. It was clear to her, that they didn’t want Willow in Torchwood. That was fine with the Slayer though.

*Yeah, yeah, you love me,* Willow commented in her head.

*Stop it!* Buffy chastised her friend reading her thoughts. *Just get Giles on it.*

*Ugh, three way calling.*

*You could have done this without me if you had just let them know…*

“Okay, I want to know some details on the people who are infected. Is there a common link?” Buffy asked Gwen. Gwen stood up from the conference table and led Buffy back to the computers that Oz was manning.

“We haven’t managed to come up with a common link for the infected persons,” Gwen said, standing over Oz. “Other than the fact that they’ve lived and worked in Cardiff their whole lives. If that’s the only commonality then we are in loads of trouble.”

“Means I’m safe though,” Ianto joked as he walked by with coffee.

“But Rhys isn’t,” Gwen commented, “and neither am I.”

“Rhys?” Buffy questioned.

“My husband,” answered Gwen with a shy smile.

“Oh,” Buffy whispered, feeling a little sorry for her. “I’m sure we’ll fix this before anything happens to him.”

“I hope so,” Gwen answered seriously.

Buffy watched tapes of the encounters the Torchwood group had had with the things that Buffy dubbed the Slimubers, confusing the whole group.

“Hey until I get a real name for these things, that’s what I’m calling them,” Buffy defended. “They move like something else I’ve seen,” Buffy noted, watching the screen.

“It has hints of the familiar,” added Oz.

“Have we ruled out telepathic control?” Buffy asked Gwen.

“I don’t know how to test for that,” Gwen responded.

“Oz?” Buffy asked.

“I could rig something up,” Oz answered, walking away from the computer.

“You call him Oz?” Gwen asked.

“Have since high school,” Buffy answered. “Never heard him called Dan. Ever.”

“It’s the name he gave Jack. Don’t know much about him. We know that he and Willow used to date, but nothing more. You wouldn’t care to fill in the blanks for me?”

Buffy smiled. “It’s not my past to tell. If Oz wants you to know why he left home or how he ended up in Cardiff, then that’s his story to tell. But you can tell me something though, how is it you managed to get married in all this chaos? I mean I’ve had relationships, but either, they die, I kill them, or they can’t handle my job. How do you do it?”

“I don’t think I did anything really,” Gwen answered. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

“I understand that,” Buffy sighed. “So these Slimubers, what is it that they do when they are out and about, besides destroy things and kill passers by? “ Buffy asked. “What do they want?”

“I thought that’s what they wanted,” said Jack as he walked by.

“If that’s the case then it gives us another view into how to deal with it,” Buffy advised, sounding much wiser than she felt. She turned to face Jack, unable to keep the smile from her face. “And usually if that is the case I usually end up slaying, a lot. Or at least using a tranq gun. If it was a full moon…” Buffy laughed. “No, they aren’t werewolves are they?”

“Werewolves don’t exist,” Gwen stated.

“Just like fairies don’t exist?” Jack commented with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy caught Oz’s motion down where he was working. So they didn’t know about Oz then. Interesting. Boy was Gwen going to get a shock when Oz has a really bad day…

“I guess you don’t believe in witches then,” Buffy asked. “or vampires, or zombies?”

“I’ll believe it, when I see it,” Gwen responded, leaving Jack and Buffy alone in front of the computers. “Just like the fairies.”

“Well, that’ll put a damper on the working relationship,” Buffy commented.

“I understand from Dan that you’ve had your share of experiences with the undead,” Jack asked. “We don’t deal with them, Gwen, well she’s a seeing is believing kind of gal. Torchwood usually lets the Council deal with vampires.”

“That’s very gracious of you,” Buffy answered him. “Have you had many dealings with the Council lately?”

Jack laughed. “Not since they got blown up.”

“Oh you heard about that did you?”

“Heard they are rebuilding. You wouldn’t like to fill me in?” he prodded.

“How about you tell me what you already know and I’ll clarify it for you,” Buffy offered stepping a little closer to him.

He really did smell good.

“Up in Scotland somewhere, got themselves a new headquarters. And giant,” Jack told her. “They have operatives all over the world. But they have you. Buffy Summers, the Slayer.” Jack stepped even closer to her, his mouth centimetres from her ear. “The greatest slayer of the age. You must have incredible muscles.”

Buffy blushed, but didn’t pull away. She could play this game too. And it was game she hadn’t played in a long long time. Not since…

“And stamina, coordination, and flexibility,” she whispered. “I haven’t had any complaints. Oh that’s not true, I did have a complaint once, but I killed him. Vampires with big mouths are a pain in my ass.”

“I’d love to be a pain in your ass,” Jack whispered back.

“Tempting,” she said pulling back from man that slightly reminded her of Angel. Yes, that’s what that was. Brown hair, mysterious, long coat. He didn’t brood as much though. Bonus points for Jack. “But you are going to have to do a lot better than that. You might be immortal but I’ve done immortal to death.” With a smile at her own bad joke, Buffy walked down to where Oz was working, making some sort of gizmo.

“So Oz, tell me about you. What’s changed since you were last in Sunnydale?”

Oz looked at her calmly and smiled. “More of the same. Heard about Sunnydale though, hard not to with the crowd I was hanging with.”

“And they would be?”

“Those of us who party by moonlight.”

There was silence for a moment, until Buffy found the need to offer up this information: “Xander lost an eye.”

“So Willow told me. I’m sorry about Spike. Who knew when he kidnapped Will and Xander…”

“Thanks,” Buffy said sadly. “I wish I’d known then too. So what’s the what here? Ianto doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“He’s uh, involved with Jack.”

“Jack who was all over me just two minutes ago?”

Oz nodded in confirmation.

“No wonder.”

“Jack is some sort of time traveller. There was some mention of fifty first century pheromones…”

“He probably could put vampire sex drive to shame,” Buffy observed whimsically. “Sorry,” she recollected herself. “It’s been a while…with a guy.”

“Willow told me that too.”

“She’s just all over that. Never going to let me live it down.”

“That’s not the Willow way,” Oz observed.

*Never was, never will be,* Willow said, her voice popping back into Buffy’s head. *Giles says that it’s a sub demon. Parasitic. Called a Nicktoaptis. They are attracted to the energy of open portals. Like little blue worms.*

*They don’t look like worms,* Buffy called back to her friend.

*’Course not, they need a host to mate. They enter the human body while sleeping, through the ear. They could be there for years and no one knows. Apparently it’s their mating season. At night they go out and the slime the hosts produce fertilises other slime and boom, you have little blue wormies.*

*That’s gross Willow.*

*Hey don’t judge the little demon worms. You made it with vampires. I bet they don’t think too highly of your mating practices either.*

*Hey! Lesbian!*

*Vamp groupie.*

Buffy rolled her eyes. *Fine, go on. How do we stop it?*

*Working on that. Giles has the whole research department division on it.*

“Buffy?” Oz tugged on the Slayer’s shirt.

“Sorry,” Buffy whispered with a smile.

“You zoned.”

“I had Willow in my head.”

“Good news?”

“I know what they are called and you can stop working on that. They don’t do telepathy, or if they do, it’s not important.

Oz threw the piece of technology he’d been working on, on the workbench. “Let’s tell the others then.”

“They are going to wonder how I know what I know.”

“Slayer thing? That always used to work for the Scoobies.”

*Wills, I need details…*

__________________________________

This time Buffy was the one giving the presentation. It felt odd not knowing the people she was working with. It felt odd that she still wanted to flirt with Jack, even though she knew he was involved with someone else. It felt odd that she was doing the explaining when she didn’t do the work. As she explained she paced and watched with amusement the reactions of Ianto and Gwen.

”They’re in people’s ears?” Gwen asked.

“How do we get them out without killing the hosts?” Jack interrupted, business like.

“I don’t know. That’s something to work on.”

“How did you figure this all out?’ Ianto asked, an air of innate curiosity coming through his coldness.

“It’s a slayer thing?” Buffy offered, not missing a beat, but hoping that that was all it would take to placate them. She wasn’t about to tell them the truth.

“A slayer thing?” Gwen questioned, her eyes telling Buffy that she wasn’t buying it at all.

“Well, I could tell you the truth, but you wouldn’t believe me,” Buffy responded, looking at Gwen. “Trust me this is what it is and we have to work together to stop it. Well that’s not true. I have people, I could probably stop it myself. It’s what I do. But it was your problem first…”

“How come we’ve never seen this before?” Ianto asked. “If they’re attracted to the rift, why haven’t we seen this before?”

“Maybe we haven’t but I bet Torchwood has. It’s an infestation.” Jack explained. “Maybe it comes in waves, or cycles.”

“Like Tent caterpillars,” Oz noted, throwing everyone off by his interjection. “Every seven years…in Maine, where my aunt and uncle live, the Tent caterpillars are really bad every seven years.”

“Your aunt Maureen?” Buffy asked interested.

Oz nodded.

“How is your cousin Jordy?” Buffy asked.

“Is your cousin Jordy a worm?“ Ianto snarked. “Can we get back to the worms in our ears? I’d rather not have one infesting my ears the next time it’s ‘seven year worm’ out there.”

Buffy tried to hold in a laugh. Probably something that she would have said. Ianto, maybe had some redeeming features after all. “It could be the first year in a really long cycle. The people affected are the people that have lived in Cardiff their whole lives, because the wormies have been here for that long. And now it’s mating season. Maybe they only mate every hundred years. Or even longer.”

“But once they’ve all mated, it’ll go away again? Right? But the people, they’ll still have the worms in their ears?” Gwen asked.

“Is there a way we can kill them off, without hurting anyone?” Ianto asked.

Buffy shrugged. “Either way, I need dinner,” she complained. “And Willow’s been up in that stupid tourist office for ages.”

“I’m sure she’s kept busy,” Jack noted in a flippant way.

Buffy eyed him suspiciously. She couldn’t tell if he knew or not.

Damn him, Buffy thought to herself. I’m going to have naughty dreams about him for weeks…oooh there could be threesome dreams… Buffy’s brain immediately brought a third, blond vampire into her naughty daydream.

*Come on Buffy, him? Really?*

Buffy looked around the room, wondering if anyone noticed that Willow was in her head,. They were all debating the case. Should they just let it go, or did they need to do something to zap the worms out of people’s bodies.

*What do you have for me, Willow of the weirding ways?*

*Dune references! You’ve been spend too much time with Xander and Andrew. You have to overdose the Nicktoapti. That the way to zap ‘em dead. A big blast of energy, from the rift, or like anomaly, will kill them.*

*But we don’t know when the rift will produce that kind of energy.*

*It likely won’t ever. That’s why they like it here. Probably, even if the rift was opened intentionally, it wouldn’t kill them. That’s why I’ll be the one opening the portal…Unless you have some other witch at your beck and call?*

*Eat first. Starving.* Buffy turned to the group who were still debating. “So, where’s a good place to eat around here?”

____________________________________________

A quiet little restaurant was found and Oz, Willow and, Buffy dug into their meals.

“Can I tell you just how glad I am that Jack is not here with us?” Buffy sighed as she stabbed at her chicken Caesar salad.

“No doubt he needs some quality time with Ianto after the flirting you did with him. Buffy you naughty thing,” Willow teased.

“Hardly. He puts Spike to shame and that’s saying a lot. God, I miss him,” Buffy said staring at her salad.

There was silence at their table for a couple of minutes Willow not knowing what to say and Oz, well he never said much anyway.

“So I’m thinking I should just open a portal , to somewhere safe, like the dimension of shrimp and then no one will know. They’ll think every things back to normal,” Willow explained.

“Until they want to know how it happened,” Oz responded.

“Putting you in a tight fix,” Buffy finished for him. “You know, Giles be damned, it would be better if you just told the truth. Jack already knows about the Council rebuilding and that we are based in Scotland and that we have a giant.”

“Giant?” Oz asked perplexed.

“Dawn slept with the wrong boy in college. She turned into a giant. She got better,” Buffy explained, as if she really was tired of relating the story over and over again.

“Not before she got to be Dawnzilla though,” Willow laughed.

“So Jack’s info is a little out of date, but the point is he knows. What’s the harm?” Buffy asked.

“But what if they are evil, like Wolfram and Hart?” Willow asked. “No offence Oz.”

“Seventy nine percent sure they aren’t, but I’ve been only with them a month,” Oz noted.

“You will have to tell them about your furry little problem, though,” Buffy advised.

“Harry Potter reference!” Willow giggled.

Buffy glared at the witch.

“Someday, when I’m ready,” responded the werewolf, ignoring Willow‘s comment.

“Do your portal thing, then,” Buffy told the red head, “and I’ll go in and say I’ve taken care of it.”

“Well I would like the credit, but if you really want them to think you are the be all and end all,” Willow responded sarcastically.

_______________________________

“So that’s it then? You’ll take care of it ?” Gwen fumed.

“Isn’t that what you wanted me to do? What you asked me here for?” Buffy spat back. “I found out how to fix it and I’m taking care of it.” Buffy glared at the Torchwood crew from her roll-y chair in the conference room. Gwen and Ianto were very clearly off the Buffy bandwagon and Jack was shooting her a sexy smirk.

“How are you taking care of it?” Ianto asked, leaning back in his chair in the conference room. “Personally I’d like to be doing something, other than getting talked at in this bloody room.”

“Well if I told you what I’m doing to take care of it, you wouldn’t believe me,” Buffy explained twisting herself around in the conference chair like a child with a new toy.

“Try me,” Jack ordered, sticking his foot out to stop her from spinning in the chair.

Buffy resisted the urge to jump on the innuendo train.

“The little ear worms, feed off the rift, it provides just the right amount of juice. What we need to do is zap them with even more energy.”

“But you can’t control the rift like that…” Gwen started.

“No, but I can have one of my own created,” Buffy responded.

“Just how are you going to do that?” Ianto asked.

“You have a witch that can harness that much power?” Jack asked, leaning in towards Buffy, his tone conspiratorially awed.

“Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies,” came Buffy’s reply. “It’ll happen sometime tonight and then I’ll be out of your city and back at my castle.”

“With your giant,” Jack pushed, manoeuvring his chair closer to Buffy’s

“No, the giant’s been cured and has been given a safe sex talk like you wouldn’t believe,” Buffy explained, now officially tired of explaining and hoping that this was the very, very last time she’d have to explain why her sister was living in a barn for months. “And she’s heading back to school in the fall.”

“Beg your pardon?” Gwen interjected, confused.

“My sister is, or rather, was the giant. She slept with the wrong guy…”

“Sometimes that happens,” Jack offered with sympathy.

“When does that happen, Jack?” Gwen protested. “People just don’t sleep with the wrong guy and end up a giant!”

“Apparently, it does. But the weird follows us Summers girls around,” Buffy continued. “However it is time for me to be on my way. If something goes wrong, I’ll be in touch.” Buffy stood from her chair, and walked towards the door.

“How? How will you be in touch?” Gwen asked.

“Through Oz,” Buffy replied looking at her werewolf friend. “He can contact Willow and Willow can contact me. Unless you want to go directly through Willow, but it seems to me that you don’t like her much. To each his own, but my advice, I wouldn’t get Willow cranky, she has sharp elbows. Bye now.” Buffy walked out of the room and made her way to the only exit she knew. Within seconds, Jack had grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him. It would have been so easy to just throw him aside, but once again Buffy found herself revelling in those blue eyes and charming smile.

“What kind of goodbye is that?” he asked, holding her close.

“Short and quick, with a side of ‘I don’t like you either?’” Buffy answered him honestly. “You don’t need me here. I don’t need to be here. And I don’t think your minions like me much.”

“Not a minion,” came Gwen’s voice from the conference room.

“You could stay and be part of the team,” Jack prodded, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“I could also be the lead in the latest Grease revival, but we both know that’s not going to happen,” Buffy acknowledged. “I’ve got my own team in Scotland. My watcher doesn’t entirely trust you, and as cute and tasty as you might be…” Buffy halted her own explanation to lean in, and give him a quick kiss on the mouth, pulling back slowly, his lower lip between her teeth. “Correction, are, I am into biting, bondage and domination, which I’m sure you’d like but I prefer my men to be immortal dead. You have a nasty heartbeat problem that I’m likely to notice and you have a boyfriend.”

Jack gave her funny look, as if trying to piece together something in reply, but couldn’t before she pulled away from him with a smile, turning and leaving the complex without looking back.

_______________________________

Buffy watched Willow open and close the portal in her hotel room.

“Hair colour?” Willow asked lying on the floor afterwards, exhausted.

“It was lighter, like you had blond highlights.”

“I got a head rush too,” Willow complained. “Or a head ache…I haven’t decided yet.”

Buffy helped Willow up off the floor and settled her down onto one of the hotel’s deceptively uncomfortable comfy chairs and handed her a glass of water.

“Are you really going to stay here and pretend you’re just nerdy witchless Willow?” Buffy asked as the red head gulped down the water.

“Yeah,” Willow explained, again. “Until Giles tells me he needs me to come back.”

“I need you to come back Willow. I miss you.”

“I will come back, Buff. Count on it.”

_______________________________

tbc...