Disclaimer: Once again I have to say that I don’t own the characters I play with...

Thanks to all who have been reviewing and following this story.

“Buffy? Love?” said Spike’s voice.

“Spike?”

Buffy looked around her to see that she was in that room with the yellow grid pattern again.

“Alright? You look a bit spooked.”

Buffy shook her head to clear it, then looked back up to see that the scenery hadn’t changed.

“Spike? Where am I?”

She had gotten her memories back as soon as she had fallen off the tower the second time. Everyone had been ecstatic, especially Giles and Xander. She had returned to work, and had even been promoted to Lt Cmdr, only a few weeks ago.

Right now, she was on shore leave with Spike, at home in Sunnydale. They were engaged. This last bit of information was a little hard to take, but Buffy sat back and let Spike explain.

She had only just started to accept that she was in love with her Spike. They had been doing so well. Spike had given her the space she needed and she was grateful. She had been feeling that she would make it known that she didn’t need the space anymore.

Now here she was in the weird dimension where her life had been a game other people play. Where she had a great job, a man - not vampire- who loved her and she loved back, where her friends and family were available and happy.

It was hard to remember when she had been here last. She had suppressed the memories as best she could. It had been a happy place that she hadn’t fit into. She had been eager to get back to her own unhappy life, now she couldn’t think of a reason not to stay where she was now.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Spike carrying a grocery bag. This was her Spike she thought, not the nice author guy from her dream...cause it was a dream right? A dream where you wake up while you are walking somewhere.

“You lookin’ for me?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I didn’t even know I was walking until a few seconds ago,” she responded.

Spike walked over to her and looked into her eyes.

“Slayer are you ok? You look like you’ve been punched in the gut.”

Buffy looked at her feet and her fashionable yet affordable slaying boots.

“I don’t know what’s going on Spike... I feel so lost. I didn’t tell you about...When I was dead, I wasn’t really. I was in another dimension, where I had a job and we were going out and Giles was an Admiral and everyone was happy. It was a beautiful place. All the time I kept thinking that I could get back here, to Dawn. Everyone told me that I had lost my memories, and that they’d come back.”

Buffy took a breath.

“They tried every way they knew to get my memories back. Then finally they made me relive it, the tower jumping...”

Spike looked at her concerned and horrified.

“And I woke up in my coffin. The thing is that I think I’m being pulled back there.”

Spike looked thoughtful for a long time. “If it was so happy there pet, do you want to go back? I mean, Sunnydale isn’t a bed of roses.”

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

Buffy followed Spike back to his crypt. It hadn’t looked the same since Riley had blown it up a few weeks ago. She had even offered for him to live in her basement instead of the charred crypt, but he had turned her down. Something to do with giving her her space.

“Was Joyce there?”

“No, she had died.”

“Like here then.”

Buffy nodded as she sat down on a chair only to be overcome by a feeling of dizziness.

“Spike...” she murmured as the dizzy spell got worse.

“Buffy, love, wake up,” came Spike’s voice.

Buffy opened her eyes to see that she was back in the other dimension.

“Huh?”

“You have a communication from your ship.”

“The Titan?” she asked bewildered.

Spike chuckled. “Ya, that’s the one. That must have been some nap.”

Spike grasped her hand and led her to a computer. Spike pressed a flashing button and before her appeared a bearded man with whom she was only slightly familiar.

“Captain,” greeted Buffy. She remembered enough of her time on the USS Titan to know that this was Captain Riker.

“Commander, there is a situation, and I need my chief of security for this one. I’m recalling you. Sorry about cutting your shore leave short.”

“O..okay,” said Buffy unsure.

“Are you alright, Summers?”

“Yes, Sir. I’m a little out of it, I just woke up.”

“I know what that feels like. We will be in orbit in 12 hours. Be ready for transport then.”

“Yes Sir.”

The connection was terminated and Buffy relaxed. She had no idea what she was needed for, or even if she knew how to do her job. Or for that matter how long she would stay here. What she did know was that Spike, her Spike in her dimension was right. This was a happy place and she had to make up her mind if she wanted to stay or not.

Buffy turned to look at this Spike, only to be thrown into her own dimension. Her Spike was hovering over her.

“Slayer? What happened luv?”

Buffy shook her head, confused. Only to be confronted by the computer screen, now empty before her and the other Spike, holding her tight.

“It’ll be alright Buffy. The medics are on their way,” he said.

Across the room, two blue clad persons materialized in the room.

“What happened?” asked one of the blue people.

“She just collapsed.”

Suddenly Buffy was aware of the gizmos that were being pointed at her.

“Spike?”

Spike looked down at her and smiled a relieved smile.

“Slayer? Was getting worried for a mo there.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Home, perhaps the Scooby prats will know what to do for you.”

Buffy smiled.

“Yes!” said Buffy remembering. “That’s when this started.”

Buffy gave her friends a description of the demon, and promptly passed out.

“You’re awake!” said Spike cheerfully.

“Ya, I’m awake girl. Where am I?”

“Sunnydale General.”

“Oh.”

Buffy played with her blanket for a bit not knowing what to say.

“The doctors can find anything wrong with you luv.”

“Julian didn’t find anything wrong last time.”

“Beg pardon?”

“Last time, when I lost my memory on the Titan. Julian couldn’t find anything wrong with me then either.”

“But you got your memory back.”

“Ya, I guess I did.”

A nurse came in to check her vital signs giving Buffy the opportunity to stare at this Spike. He wasn’t different at all. Except for the tinglies. There were none. It was an odd feeling: Spike being in the room and no tinglies to accompany him. Buffy’s thoughts turned to her friends in her Sunnydale and how she hoped that they knew what was going on with her now.

Looking at this Spike had just driven a point through her head. He was the same as her Spike. Just a vamp. They were both kind and loving, and deeply in love with her. It was unfair of her to not give her Spike a chance to love her like this Spike had had a chance to love his Buffy. She had made her decision. She wanted to go home. She wanted to love her Spike, and she wanted to start right now.

“Would it be such a big deal if I didn’t get my memory back? Would you still love me if I was like this for the rest of my life?”

Buffy smiled at her Spike.

“I love you, you know,” she whispered.

Spike smiled and gripped her hand.

“I know you’ve been waiting to hear that for a long time. I needed time and time’s up.”

Spike leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth.

“Oh god!” came Willow’s voice from the doorway. “My eyes, my virgin eyes.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Spike pulled back from the kiss and turned to look at the witch.

“That the cure?”

“Oh, yes, it is. I was distracted by the vampire slayer swapping spit with the vampire.” Willow handed Spike the mug of goop.

Spike took a sniff of the stuff and made a face, then held out the mug to the slayer.

“Bottoms up love.”

Buffy hesitantly took the mug and looked into the depths.

“Icky,” said Buffy as she sniffed the yuck.

Buffy raised the glass to her mouth and looked at Spike.

He may be a vampire, but he loves you and would die for you and Dawn. He’ll never leave you. Everyone has a flaw, you are avoid-o girl and he’s a vampire...You love him. It’s time to move on with your life Buffy.

Buffy downed the contents of the mug in one gulp.